The Consequence of Death
by Leni Ircam
Summary: Steve is forced to fake his own death in order to keep his Ohana safe. He returns to find that his actions have caused more harm than good. Will his friends forgive him, will he be able to return and live a normal life?
1. Chapter 1

**I know that I said that I was not going to write anymore Fanfictions, but this story popped into my head and ended up on the page. Never say never!**

**Steve is forced to fake his own death in order to keep his Ohana safe. He returns to find that his actions have caused more harm than good. Will his friends forgive him, will he be able to return and live a normal life?**

The cab pulled up to the curb and waited patiently as the passenger emerged from the car. Paying the cab driver, he paused briefly to take in the scene before him. The flowers that once covered the picket fence were gone and all that was revealed was the chipped paint that once was so pristine. The grass was brown and patches of weeds covered the walkway. Reaching out to open the gate, the creaking sound, startled him. The trellis that once served as an arch was partly collapsed. "Gotta get that fixed" he said to himself as he walked to the front door. Scurrying in his pocket, he retrieved a key chain. Staring at the hula girl on it, he pushed the key into the lock and to his surprise the tumbler turned. "Still works".

Standing in the doorway, he scanned the living room and released a short sigh. Everything was just how he had left it with the exception of the sheets that covered the furniture. The sight had put him into a short daze when he was suddenly brought back to reality by the buzzing sound of the alarm. He faced the key pad and with a short pause he entered the code. To his surprise the buzzing stopped. "No one changed the code, that's good." He released a small grin and feeling relaxed and comfortable, he dropped the duffel bag that was draped on his shoulder.

Cautiously he walked throughout the house, finding it difficult to break old habits; he turned each corner, mentally clearing each room as he entered. He was used to being on the alert at all times. This was a habit that he was looking forward to changing. The appliances were unplugged, and the cupboards were empty and covered in dust. Slowly he opened the garage and expressed a sign of relief at the site of his father's Marquis. He walked inside and gently rubbed his finger along the side of the car. "I did this for you, dad", he whispered. Wiping the single tear that fell from his eye, he proceeded back inside the house and moved towards the couch. Reaching for the end of the sheet that covered it, he tugged and with one swoop, found the cover draped on the floor. The brown leather couch that he loved so much, was revealed. He ran his hand on the soft leather and carefully sat, placing his feet on the coffee table in front. He leaned his head back and with an expression of peace, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "Home sweet home", was the only thought that crossed his mind.

Steve sat, savoring the peace and quiet, thinking that this was now how his life would be. No threats, no enemies, just a normal peaceful existence. The last years were painfully difficult, but his mission was accomplished. WoFat was dead, the Yakuza was dismantled and all known enemies were eliminated. He was free from any threats; he could finally have the life he secretly longed for.

Suddenly and without warning the door flew open and darting in, with guns drawn, the three individuals entered. Startled at the sight of the man on the couch, they stood in a trance.

"Hey, guys, what's up?" Steve smirked

Danny remained frozen with a look of fear on his face.

Kono lowered her gun and with a stutter said "Oh….my….God"

Chin completed her thought "You're alive!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Steve does have a lot of explaining to do, but does his team really want to hear it?**

Kono darted towards where Steve who was now standing and nearly tackled him to the floor. "You're real! You're really alive! I can't believe it!"

"I won't be for long if you keep squeezing me so tight!" He responded with a chuckle.

She released her grip as Chin approached and with a hug and a pat on the back he commented "I am so happy to see you brah, but you have got a whole lotta explaining to do"

"I know, and I will explain everything, but right now I just want to be with you guys. How did you know I was here?" Steve questioned

"The alarm is linked to Five-0. When you turned it off, we were alerted that there was an intruder" Chin responded

Steve nodded as he stared at Danny who had not moved from his position. "I really missed all of you"

"You had better have a great story to tell, because there are a lot of people that are going to be so pissed off at you" Danny commented

"That's all you have to say to me after all this time?" Steve crossed his arms in front of his chest and smirked.

"Awe hell" Danny walked over to him and with a tight hug whispered "I missed you man"

"I missed you too. All of you" He smiled and approached for a group hug.

The three men sat around the kitchen table, as Kono went to the store for some groceries, beer and takeout. The mood was awkward and no one wanted to bring up what was clearly the elephant in the room. After some small talk, Chin decided it was time for some answers "So, what happened?" Chin was the first to turn the conversation to a more serious note.

"After Doris was killed, I had no choice but to fake my own death. I had to do it to protect all of you. Whomever was behind this was not going to stop unless they knew I was dead. Being dead gave me the opportunity to be invisible" Steve answered giving the minimal information. He was hoping that this was enough of an explanation.

"What the hell is it with your family and faking deaths? It worked so well for Doris, that you felt you needed to screw up a few lives too!" Danny shouted as he raised from the chair and paced the kitchen

"I am sorry Danny, but this time it worked. The threat has been eliminated. We are all safe. We can all have a normal life" Steve was convinced that his actions were warranted.

"It worked? Normal? You must have lost your mind in that explosion! Nothing is normal about what you did. You didn't save lives, you destroyed them. What you did caused more damage that WoFat and the Yakuza ever did!" Danny was shouting at Steve

Steve glared "What are you talking about Danny?"

"You ruined everyone's life. You selfish bastard! You have no idea how much hurt you caused everyone!" Danny shouted

Steve jumped up from the chair "What Danny? What happened that has you so upset? Damn it, do you have any idea what I went through for you guys? For everyone. None of you have to look over your shoulders ever again. None of you have to experience what Chin went through, what I went through! I was not being selfish, I did it for you! "Standing just inches from Danny's face he shouted.

Chin interfered "Danny, Steve, that's enough!" He grabbed Danny by the arm and dragged him into the living room "He has no idea what happened here. Don't you think you are being a little hard on him?"

"Well, then, we need to brief him on what his little charade caused" Danny was now yelling at Chin.

At that moment, Kono walked in carrying grocery bags "what's going on?" she asked as she discovered the two men shouting in the living room

"Danny wants to tell Steve about what happened while he was away" Chin informed her

"Oh no, that's not a good idea. Not yet. Let's have one night where we can savor that the Boss is alive. We can tell him tomorrow. Besides, Catherine needs to be here when we tell him, don't you think?" Kono was fearful of what his reaction might be.

"Oh yeh, Catherine is going to be very open to that idea" He commented sarcastically "I don't understand how you guys can be so forgiving. Kono, you get that if he's alive, Adam didn't kill him, right? You condemned Adam for nothing. He screwed all of us, just so that son of a bitch could be happy. He didn't care if we were happy" Danny was angry

Chin drew the other two closer to him "You may be right Danny, but we know that he is the one that lost the most because of this stunt, and the worst part is, he doesn't even know it….yet"

Steve remained in the kitchen trying to listen to what was being said in the other room. Picking up only portions of the conversation, he realized that this wasn't going to be as easy as he thought; Steve decided to give his team the benefit of the doubt and give them time to accept what was happening. He tried to lighten the mood. "Are you guys going to stand in the living room whispering behind my back all night, or are we going to eat?" He knew that something was going on, but he also knew that his team would tell him when they thought the timing was right. He had decided that he needed to trust them and enjoy the evening.

"We'll be right there!" shouted Kono

"Hurry up, because if not, then I could think of somewhere I could go. Someone who will be happy to see me, even more than you guys are" Steve smirked at the thought of the look on Catherine's face when she sees him

"Don't count on it" Kono replied under her breath as Chin and Danny, exchanged looks.

**I wonder what could have possibly happened to make Danny so upset…**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, follows and favorites. It means so much to me and it does help direct the story a little. I apologize for not replying directly to each of you, but I don't want to give anything away. Some of you may or may not be on the right track, but those who know my stories probably have a good idea, but it will have a twist, just to be different. See, you made me give too much away anyway. Hmm sneaky. **** Enjoy! **

The sound of the ocean and the bright light coming through the window startled her. Kono jumped out of bed, not sure where she was. Rubbing her eyes with one hand and rubbing her neck with the other, she remembered the excessive amount of alcohol that she must have consumed. Still dressed in the clothes she wore the night before, she exited the room and made her way down the hallway. "Wow, I haven't drunk that much in years" she thought to herself. "I wonder how the guys feel" she smirked just a little before the thunder that was inside her head caused her to wince. Tiptoeing her way down the hallway and to the other bedroom she slowly opened the door, just for a peak, just to make sure she wasn't dreaming about what had happened the night before. The disheveled sheets and the duffle bag thrown on the floor convinced her that she wasn't. It was real, Steve was back and alive. Realizing that the bed was empty, Kono threw herself into a panic and raced down the stairs. Checking the kitchen and the back yard, she realized that he was nowhere in sight. She ran towards the couch and the chair, where Chin and Danny had apparently passed out.

"Where is he?" Kono shouted

"Who? Ow, and stop yelling" Danny sat up rubbing his head

"Steve. He's gone" Kono ran towards the door and swinging it opened observed that Danny's car was also gone.

"Shit!" Shouted Chin. "Where the hell did he go?"

"I bet I know" answered Danny "and we better get there fast, because she is going to kill him"

_**Meanwhile**_

"Good Morning beautiful" Ryan approached Catherine from behind pecking a gentle kiss on her shoulder.

"Morning" she replied as she continued pouring the juice into the two small glasses.

Turning around and skirting her way past him, she placed the glasses alongside the two settings on the table.

"You better eat; you have a meeting with the Governor don't you?" She ordered as she sat

"That smells good, but you know that I don't take my eggs scrambled, dear" He sarcastically stated as he took a sip of the juice.

"I thought you would like something different this morning" she smiled

"That's ok. I am not really that hungry anyway. So…how is that headache you had last night?" again commenting with a sarcastic tone

"Much better, thank you" she looked at the dish of food in front of her and began picking at the eggs.

"Did you call the realtor? We really need to get rid of this dump and maybe you should drop the price of that jalopy in the driveway" he stared at her waiting for a reply.

"This is not a dump and that car is a classic. You know it belonged to my father. I do not want to sell it. That car is very special to me and you know that." She was adamant

"That is not the proper car for the District Attorney's future wife. You need something more prestigious" He stood up and reached for his cell phone checking for any messages. He placed it in his pocket and reached for his briefcase "I better get going, we'll discuss this later. Do not forget that we are meeting for lunch. I need to go over your schedule for the next week."

"I told you, I'm meeting Kono this morning to go surfing and then I am meeting Danny about that job offer" she questioned whether he ever listened to her when she spoke

"Aren't you a little old to be surfing so much? The sun is starting to take effect on your skin" he reached his hand and touched her cheek "And I thought I told you that you will not be working with those vigilantly Five-0's. Tell Detective Williams that you are declining his offer, better yet, I will tell him myself. Besides you won't have time for a menial job once we are married" He leaned in and kissed her on the lips. She did not respond but simply turned and walked into the bedroom.

The sound of the door closing behind him gave her a sign of relief. She walked back into the kitchen and began to clear the table. Standing at the kitchen sink, she watched as the leaves of the palm trees danced in the gentle breeze. The sun was shining and she was sure that the surf would be perfect today. "I can't wait to get out there and ride some waves with Kono. It's been a while since we were able to get together". Staring at the Plumeria shrub she lost herself in memories that were still so vibrant, yet so distant from her life today.

A knock at the door startled her from her thoughts. Looking down at her watch, she noticed that it was still too early for her surf date with Kono. "I guess Kono is just as anxious for today as I am" she thought as she lunged for the door with excitement.

"Your early "she announced as she flung opened the door.

"Hi" Steve stood with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. He had imagined this moment for years.

Catherine's eyes grew wide and her mouth opened gasping for air when suddenly everything went black and she hit the floor with a thud.

He ran to the kitchen and grabbed a wet cloth. Noticing the two dishes in the sink, he paused for a split second before rushing back to her side. Leaning over her and gently caressing her face with the cloth, he whispered "Cath, please wake up, it's me Steve. Come on Cath." Placing a gently kiss on her lips; he began to notice her eye lids fluttering.

The figure leaning over her was slowly becoming clear. The glow of his blue eyes staring back at her gave her the immediate revelation of who it was, she panicked, jumped up and squirmed her way to the opposite corner of the room.

"It can't be. You're dead. I buried you. Who are you? Get away!" She shouted at the figure as she grabbed hold of the vase that sat on the curio behind her.

"Cath, it's me, Steve. I am not going to hurt you. I am not a ghost, I am very much alive." He could not help but smirk at the thought of being a ghost.

"No! That's impossible! I must be hallucinating. " She was shaking uncontrollably

Steve slowly approached her "It's me Cath. Here touch my hand, I am real" he reached his hand out to her.

Cautiously she reached her hand out and with the tip of her finger touched his hand, darting back immediately, as if she were touching a hot flame.

"I told you" He smirked again

She slowly moved closer and reached out again. This time she touched his face and gently caressed his lips, when suddenly she darted closer and kissed him.

He reached his arms around her and held her tightly, returning the kiss. He could feel her melting in his arms and her heart beating fierily against his.

She loved him and old feelings were flooding her mind and her heart as their tongues danced around each other's. "You're really here" she whispered "I'm not dreaming?"

"No you're not. I missed you so much, Cath" He looked deeply into her eyes.

"I….I…don't know how this is possible. I can't believe it" She was now crying as she kissed his lips between each word spoken. "I love you. I never thought I would ever see you again. I never thought I'd be able to ever say those words to you again" She held his face in her hands, examining every wrinkle, every scar.

"I thought about you every day. I couldn't wait to come back to you" His eyes were tearing as he took in her appearance and her scent.

He pulled her closer and held her. They embraced in silence, when a realization flooded her mind and her heart sank. She was suddenly aware of what had happened; what was happening. Placing her hands on his chest, she violently pushed him back, knocking him to the ground. Shouting at the top of her lungs she stood over him and asked "You son of a Bitch! What the hell where you doing for the last three years?"


	4. Chapter 4

_**I know three years is a long time. That was the hardest decision with this story. I needed a long enough time frame to get over what happened, but not long enough for everyone to completely move on. **_

_**Needless to say Cath is not happy with Steve right now and as they say; A woman scorn…**_

"You are so beautiful when you are angry" he smiled at her reaction as he regained his footing and stood

"Are you kidding me right now?" She shouted at him

"Cath, come on. I'll explain later. Don't ruin the moment" He attempted to approach her

"Stop!" she raised her hand to block him "Don't ruin the moment? The moment? You want a moment?" She was screaming at him and all he could do was smile.

"You want a moment? I'll give you a moment. How about this for a moment" she reached for a plaque signed by the Governor of Hawaii "This was a moment" she began reading the inscription "_presented to Lieutenant Commander Steven J McGarrett for his loyal service to the Five-0 task force. Killed in the line of Duty._ You like that moment?" She tossed the plaque at him, barely missing his head as he ducked.

"Perhaps you'll like this moment better" she reached for a framed letter that hung on the wall. "Bet you didn't know how important you were. This one is signed by the President of The United States" She threw that at him, again just missing him.

He stood firm, folding his arms against his chest, the smile that adorned his face was now gone. "Cath, come on, I get it; If you would just let me explain."

"Explain? Let you explain? Oh but then you will miss the best moment of all!" She was crying and the anger inside her was out of control. Steve just stood and allowed her the opportunity to release her aggression. She reached for the flag that was folded and hanging in a shadow box on the wall. "This was the flag that draped your coffin, which was presented to Mary, your little sister; your little sister, who buried her mother just two weeks earlier. How's that for a moment?" Grabbing a tighter hold on the box, she smashed it on the ground.

Steve was surprised by her reaction. He knew that there would be consequences for his actions, but he thought the end result would redeem him. He had no idea how much pain he apparently caused. If only she would just let him explain.

He waited for Cath to calm down and when she finally collapsed to the floor and sat in the corner, he tried to approach her. He kneeled down beside her and began to speak when she stopped him with a simple hand jester. Raising her knees to her chest, she whispered "Leave, please leave me alone"

"No, I won't. Cath, please you don't understand. I did this for us. It's safe for us to be together now. We can finally be together" He pleaded as he kneeled next to her.

"Don't come near me. There is no us anymore. You did this for yourself. You did this for your own satisfaction. You never thought about anyone else but yourself. You are and always were a selfish bastard. Now I am asking you again. Please leave" she buried her face in her knees.

"I am not leaving. I know that you have someone else, but you said you love me" He emphasized the word me. "You have to give me a chance to explain, please, you have to" He pleaded

"GET OUT!" she shouted at the top of her lungs "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Do you love this guy? Ten minutes ago you said you loved me. Why won't you let me explain? Why are you choosing him over me? We were meant to be together and you know that. Please Cath don't do this. You have to let me explain. Please? Just admit it" Steve pleaded for an explanation

"I said GET OUT!" she shouted once again

Realizing that her anger was irreversible, he finally gave in to her pleas, and nodded in agreement as he stood to leave.

At that moment Danny, Chin and Kono arrived and stood in awe at the sight before them.

Taking in the destruction and broken glass in the room, Kono approached Catherine and kneeling down to her level asked. "Are you ok?" she whispered as she held her in her arms.

"Please tell him to leave. I need him to leave. Kono, I need you to stay" Her eyes were red and swollen. Her hands were trembling.

Kono just looked at Steve and nodded her head for him to exit the house. Danny and Chin gently took hold of Steve's arm and escorted him out. "Brah, let's go."

Steve agreed and left with the two men, but not before taking a final look at the woman sitting on the floor crying. She looked up and they made eye contact for a split second.

"I don't care if she has someone else, she still loves me Danny. I am not letting this go" Steve proclaimed as he walked to the Camaro.

"She told you about him? She said that she loved you?" Chin questioned his statement

"She can't love him, I know she loves me" was all he said

Danny and Chin exchanged a look and paused before getting in the car. "Steve" Chin began "There is a lot of stuff that went down after your….well you know….death"

Danny continued "We have a lot to talk about, but this isn't the right place. Let's go to HQ and we'll fill you in on everything. It's about time you knew what's going on." Danny hated to do this, but it was time that Steve learned the consequences of his actions.

_**It's time Steve found out what happened. **_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Thank you so much for all the comments. By popular demand, Steve is going to find out what happened, well, some of what happened. I can't give everything away in one chapter. **_

The drive was a silent one as Steve pondered about what had happened. He could not understand what he had done that was so bad, why everyone was so angry at him. He understood that there would be some resentment for him faking his own death. He had felt that way about Doris when she did the same thing. The difference was that he had managed to actually eliminate the threat and no one was harmed because of his action. In his mind he had saved everyone's life. "I don't understand why they don't see it like this" he thought to himself.

As the Camaro approached the Palace, Steve couldn't help but feel the sense of nostalgia. He waited a long time to get back to Five-0 and to his life. Pausing before he exited the car, he stared at the statue of King Kamehameha and the majestic building that stood before him.

Danny and Chin caught his attention "Steve" Danny spoke first "There are a few things that have changed since you've been…..away. Chin is in charge of Five-0 now."

Chin smirked and with a tilt of his lip apologized "Sorry Brah, I am sure the Governor will reinstate you as head of Five-0"

"Chin, Danny, its ok. I will be happy just to get back to work. I'll assure the Governor that you should stay as head of Five-0" Steve was just happy to be there. He was ready to put his life back together. The titles no longer meant anything to him.

As Danny checked to see if the surroundings were clear, he observed the District Attorney leaving the Palace and tried to get Chin's attention without bringing attention to Steve. Steve did not know of Ryan Billings, but Billings knew all too well who McGarrett was. A confrontation at this time would not be good. They have not told the Governor or anyone else about Steve's return. The Governor should know before the DA or anyone else.

"Williams!" Shouted Billings as he spotted the men in the parking lot.

"Don't move from here and keep your head down" Danny ordered Steve

"Ryan! Hey what brings you here on this beautiful morning?" Danny smiled trying to cover his nervousness

Ryan simply acknowledged Danny with a handshake "Listen, about that Job offer you have for Catherine. I just wanted to tell you that she won't be taking it."

"Yes ok. Have a nice day" Danny began to walk away. He wanted to end the conversation as quickly as possible

Ryan just looked at him with curiosity. It was extremely out of character for the Detective not to try to argue his point, but he was willing to take the response and move on. "Yes, good day to you too."

"Such a strange little guy "whispered Ryan Billings as he walked over to his BMW. Placing his briefcase in the back seat, his eye caught a glance at the three men talking near the Camaro. "Is that?" Pausing in disbelief "No it can't be", he dismissed the thought as he got into the car and drove away.

Steve noticed the man staring directly at him "Who's that?" Steve asked suspiciously

"Just the District Attorney, no one you need to worry about" Danny responded as he glanced at Chin

"Do I know him?" Steve asked again

"I said it's no one that you need to worry about" Danny's tone grew irritable and it was at that moment that Steve became suspicious.

Cautiously making their way across the lobby and up the stairs, they were convinced that they had managed to sneak through without anyone recognizing Steve. The baseball cap that Danny had in his car was finally put to good use.

As the three men entered the suite of offices, Steve could not help but notice the changes to the area. The smart table was there, but it appeared to have been upgraded. New computers adorned the desks and there were multiple monitors on the walls. "Nice toys. Do any of you know how to use any of it?"

"Not really. Kono does a little, but we just got approval to hire a technician to operate all this new stuff. I was trying to hire Catherine, but her…. Never mind." Danny shook his head "Let's go in the interrogation room and talk. Its private and we won't get interrupted in there." Danny explained

"Why wouldn't she take the job, Danny?" Steve knew that Catherine would have loved to be part of the task force, especially if such state of the art equipment was involved. As athletic and beautiful as she was, deep down she was most comfortable in front of a computer and keyboard. She was a nerd and that is what he loved about her the most.

"Come in here and let's talk" Chin escorted him into the interrogation room and directed him to the lone chair.

"I feel like I am about to be interrogated" He was no longer taking this lightly

Chin and Danny exchanged looks and with a raise of his eyebrows, Chin directed Danny to start.

"Sit down" Chin instructed "can we get you something to drink?"

Steve sat "Stop stalling and get to the point" he demanded

Danny and Chin paced the room, occasionally looking at Steve and occasionally looking at each other. Steve observed as he sat with his legs straddling the chair.

"You guys going to say something or am I supposed to guess?" Steve asked sarcastically.

Chin gestured for Danny to start.

Danny rubbed his face with his hands and tilting his neck to one side, began. "Steve, after your death, the Governor dismantled Five-0." Danny stopped abruptly after that comment.

"Why? I mean you obviously had it reinstated? Why would he do that?" Steve was confused.

Chin responded "After your death, he felt that Five-0 was more of a danger than an asset. Within one year, Malia, Doris, and you were all killed as a result of Five-0 investigations. It took us an entire year, a high crime rate, and an election to get Five-0 back"

Danny continued "and only under the condition that Chin lead the task force. Apparently I am too much of a hot head"

"Can't argue there." Steve interjected. "But you did get reinstated. So everything worked out. You have all these new toys" he hesitated "You said that you offered Catherine a job. Why would she turn it down? This would be her dream job" Steve questioned

"Her …" Danny paused "….her fiancé won't let her take it"

"Fiancé? She's getting married? To who?" Steve's knee began to bounce

"The District Attorney" Chin answered

"Pretty boy from the parking lot" Steve stated "I had a feeling that was the guy she was sleeping with, but fiancé?" He rubbed his chin as he bowed his head "I can't believe she is getting married"

"How did you know it was him?" Danny asked

"You both got really nervous and he kept staring at me, like he knew who I was, but I had never met him. I figured something was up." He continued looking towards the ground "I can't believe she is going to marry someone else"

"You died. What was she supposed to do? You had a good thing and you just walked away from it" Chin intervened

"Don't judge me. Isn't that what you did with Malia?" Steve retorted with a bitter tone

"Yes, Steve. That is exactly what I did and it cost me years that I could have spent with her!" Chin snapped back as he rubbed his forehead in despair.

Danny stepped in and continued "Catherine needed to move on. He's not a bad guy. He loves her and takes good care of her" his tone came across as doubtful.

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself? You have doubts, yet you didn't try to talk her out of it" he continued to post blame

Danny was always amazed at Steve's intuitive skills "yes, we have doubts. We would have doubts about anyone she would have dated. We always thought of her as your girl. Still do, but he loves her and she needs to have someone love her. She deserves it"

"Is that why she is selling the Vette? I noticed the For Sale sign in the car window in her driveway. She would never sell that car. He is making her do it, isn't he? He's controlling her" Steve knew that she would never sell the one possession that her father loved. He would never sell his father's car and he knew that she wouldn't either. She must feel as if she has no choice. "He's making her sell her car. He tells her what job she can or cannot take. He's not right for her. He changed her. Cath would never let anyone tell her what to do"

Danny nodded in disbelief "You changed her, circumstances changed her. Leave her alone, Steve. Just stay away from her" The anger between them was escalating.

Steve tried to contain the situation by ignoring Danny's statement and changing the subject "What about Grace and Rachel? They're ok, right?" he was almost afraid to ask.

"Because we were considered dangerous, Rachel had the custody agreement overturned and was able to get full custody of Gracie. She moved to Las Vegas with her. I can only see her twice a year, under supervision and only in Las Vegas." Danny was avoiding eye contact.

"I am so sorry Danny. I really am." Steve truly did feel bad

"Are you, Steve? Did you at any time stop to think what would happen here if you were gone? Did you ever think of anyone but yourself and that damned vendetta?" Danny paced and flailed his arms with every syllable spoken

Steve stood "Of course I did! I did this so that everyone here would be safe. I did this so that you would never have to worry about Grace being targeted. All I wanted was to keep the people I love safe" He bowed his head and returned to the chair, sitting in defeat.

Regaining his composure he continued "What did you guys do without Five-0?"

"Kono gave surfing lessons to tourists for a while and Danny and I did some private security." Chin responded.

"Kono still has Adam? She didn't mention anything about him last night. I thought for sure they would be married by now" Steve wondered.

"Kono blamed Adam and the Yakuza for your death." Chin elaborated

"But Adam was innocent. I personally checked him out. When I took down the Yakuza, he was not implicated in any of it. He really was legit" Steve again stood, trying to justify

"He tried to tell her, but she wouldn't believe him and didn't want to, she needed someone to blame, and he was there. She was like a dog with a bone. She went after him and didn't stop. He finally gave up trying to convince her. He packed up operations and moved to the big island" Danny replied

Nodding in disbelief "Mary?" Steve asked

"Mary is ok now. She is in New Jersey" Danny answered avoiding more information

"What is she doing in Jersey?" Steve was confused. His family had no connection to New Jersey

Chin and Danny exchanged a look. "I can't" Danny whispered to Chin as he retreated to the back of the room.

Chin took over the reply "She is in an institution there. Danny's sister Carol works there and Mrs. Williams checks on her weekly"

"She works at an institution? I guess that care taker job really was her calling" Steve raised his brows in surprise

"No Steve. She is a patient there. She tried to kill herself. If it wasn't for Catherine finding her, she would be dead, for real" Chin waited for a reaction

"What? She tried to kill herself? Why?" he rubbed his chin in grabbed his head in anguish

Danny couldn't control his reaction "Why? Why? She lost her mother and her brother. Don't you think that's reason enough? She thought she was alone. She wasn't, but she thought she was"

Steve rubbed his face as a single tear fell from his eyes. "Is she ok now?" he asked sheepishly

"She's getting better. Her panic attacks and bought with depression are making it difficult, but she's trying and she has help. Carol and mom are taking good care of her. I thought it would be best to get her off this rock." Danny reached and placed his hand on Steve's shoulder.

"You said Catherine found her? Catherine would have taken care of her" Steve was sure that Cath would never abandon his sister.

"Catherine had her own …" Danny searched for the right words "….issue to deal with"

"Like what?" Steve asked cautiously

Chin approached Danny and whispered in his ear. Danny nodded

"You need to talk to her about that" Danny looked at Steve with pity.

"I doubt she'll talk to me again. Especially after this morning" Steve stood. Rubbing his chin with his hand and pacing for a few seconds trying to contain the knot in his throat, he asked "Am I free to leave now?"

"Of course, but Steve, you need to speak to the Governor. He needs to know about your return" Danny insisted

"You tell him, boss" Steve responded in a condescending tone as he crossed paths with Chin "I have something to take care of"

_**You didn't really think I was going to tell you what happened to Catherine yet, did you?**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**I love all the comments and guesses, you will just have to wait and see what happens or happened, but first I think we need a little bromance. **_

"Steve! Wait up!" Danny shouted as he chased after Steve in the hallway

"What do you want, Danny? Is there something else you need to blame me for?" Steve stopped and turned to look at Danny

"No. I want to apologize" He responded as he grabbed Steve's arm

Steve looked at Danny's hand and pulled back to release his hold "Apology noted"

"Apology Noted?" he echoed "Apology noted? Really Steve? I am trying here, but I need you to try too"

Steve paused and leaned against the wall. "I thought I was doing something good for all of you and now everyone hates me"

"We don't hate you" Danny ran his fingers through his hair "We, I, I can't believe you pulled a stunt like this. After what your mother did to you, I never thought you would do the same thing to us"

"I had no choice. It was the only way I could think of protecting everyone. I understand now, why she did what she did" Steve bowed his head

Danny felt bad "Come on, follow me" he ordered as he walked into his office

Steve followed and was directed to have a seat. Danny continued "Steve, listen, I know that you think you were doing us all a favor and maybe you did, but didn't you stop to think that maybe we would miss you? "

"So you did miss me?" Steve replied facetiously

"Of course, we did. We all love you, don't you get that?" Danny was now sitting closer to him "we were devastated. I felt like the world came crashing down. You were the sole reason Five-0 existed. You were the glue that held us all together. "

"Danny" Steve tried to interrupt

Danny continued "Kono went ballistic on Adam, we were sure the Yakuza was involved. Chin repressed his feelings and took it out on every criminal that appeared before him"

"What about You, Cath and Mary? I counted on you to take care of them. I needed you to take of them." Steve leaned in to get closer

"I lost you. I was about to lose Grace. I lost the most important people in my life. I wasn't in that great a shape as it was. I thought about leaving Hawaii, but I couldn't leave. I needed to be here for Mary and Catherine. I knew that was what you would have wanted. Mary was a basket case, she completely lost it and it was just too much to dump on Catherine. Mary didn't want anything to do with any of us, but she and Catherine became very close. They kind of latched on to each other. I think Mary saw Catherine as a link to you and Catherine was doing the same. We all tried to help them cope. Kono probably was the most successful, with Catherine at least" Danny explained

"I noticed that this morning. I am glad that they became friends" Steve commented

"They became good friends. It took a while, but we all did. Chin and Catherine became work out buddies, and Saturday nights were Syfy movie night at my place. But it just wasn't enough" The disappointment in Danny's voice was evident

He continued as Steve listened intently "Catherine withdrew. She threw herself into her job. She gave up all her other friends. She was lonely. She was always around us, but she was lonely. She needed to find someone. She needed someone to treat her like she deserved to be treated. She is just too smart and too beautiful to be hanging around her dead boyfriend's friends. It took her a long time to move on and be normal. Well, as normal as she could be"

"Continue" was all the Steve said

"What do you want me to tell you Steve?" Danny asked cautiously

"Where did she meet pretty boy?" He asked

"She had to testify on behalf of Naval Intelligence on a drug trafficking plot and that's when she met Billings" Danny paused waiting for a reaction

"How long after I left?" he questioned

"I don't know, a year and a half, I think. She resisted at first, but he was persistent and she finally agreed to go out with him. She invited all of us along." Danny smirked

"She invited you guys along on her first date? That must have been fun" He was extremely sarcastic

"Well, not really along. She made sure we would coincidently be at the same restaurant at the same time. I don't know if she was scared, or just wanted our approval" Danny hesitated

"Cath has never been scared of anything in her entire life" Steve remarked

Danny rolled his eyes "You don't seem to get it. She changed Steve. She became this scared little girl. She was lost."

Steve just nodded his head "Are you trying to make me feel worse than I already do?"

"I am telling you this because you need to know that she moved on. She needed to move on and he made her happy. You are about to go chasing after her and I want you to think for a minute" Danny stood "You better be sure that you are prepared to hear what she has to say, you may not like it, and she might not want you around"

"She loves me" Steve stood and looked down at Danny who was still seated

Danny stood "Maybe, but a lot has happened and she might decide that Billings is safer than you" Danny pointed

Steve began to walk away.

"Where are you going? Did you hear anything that I said?" Danny shouted

Steve stopped and turned to Danny "All I keep hearing is how I screwed up and ruined everyone. I just tried to fix things. I never thought you would lose Grace. I never thought Kono would blame Adam. I never thought Mary would try to kill herself and I never thought Catherine would run off and want to marry someone else"

"That's the problem! You never thought!" Danny shouted at him. Realizing that he was being a little too harsh, he approached.

He lowered his voice "Steve, you once told me that your mother's death made you who you are today. When she reappeared after all those years, you told me that you felt betrayed. That you could never trust her" Danny reminded him

"Yes, and now you are telling me that I did the same thing. That you feel betrayed and don't trust me?" Steve wondered

"Yes. I mean, I will always trust you, but we all feel betrayed. You didn't trust us enough to tell us what you were planning. You have a chance to fix things. I may not get Grace back, but I have to admit that she is happy in Las Vegas. Mary is in the process of healing. Chin and Kono have moved on, and so has Catherine. You need to decide if you are willing to fight to get Catherine back." Danny grabbed hold of Steve's shoulders

"I need to get her back." Steve looked directly into Danny's eyes

"Than do it, but tread lightly. She isn't that strong willed woman you left behind. She's been through a lot" Danny was serious

"That's all I keep hearing, but none of you have the guts to tell me what happened." Steve shouted

"It's not our place to tell you" Danny replied

"Well, did anyone stop to think that maybe I've been through a lot? That maybe I sacrificed everything to do this? Did anyone stop to think that I missed all of you? That I may lose the one thing that means the most to me?" he fought desperately to release the knot in his throat

"I'm sorry Steve, but what you did was wrong" Danny lowered his voice and approached "What happened, happened. None of us can change the past, but please, for me and for her, approach her cautiously. Tell her how you feel and don't pressure her. She's still fragile and after the stunt you pulled this morning, very angry" Danny still felt the need to protect her

"Ok" Steve paused "Danny?"

"What?" Danny asked

"Thanks." He leaned in and hugged his friend

"Yeh, your welcome. Now go find her, but remember, be gentle with her and actually listen to what she has to say, ok?" Danny reinforced.

"I will" Steve took off running across the hallway and down the stairs of the Palace as he retrieved the keys to Danny's Camaro from his pocket.

_**Will Steve take Danny's advice? Will Catherine want to hear what Steve has to say? Will Steve want to hear what Catherine has to say?**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Thank you once again for all the reviews, comments, and PMs. Please keep them coming. **_

_**Apparently some of you thought that Steve was written to be unlikeable. That was not my intention, my intention was to make him misunderstood and I hope it came across that way to most of you. Please keep in mind that this is a Steve and Catherine fic, so even though the others are a big part of the story, the main focus is on their relationship.**_

_**You got your bromance now it's time for some Girl talk**_

Kono and Catherine emerged from the pounding sea with a sense of renewal. The women sat on the hot sand and reflected on the waves that had washed away the sorrows of the hours prior. The sun was now high and the clouds covered just enough to cool the breeze that gently brushed against their skin.

"Thank you so much for convincing me to do this" Catherine looked at Kono with a smile

"Listen, sista, sitting home and crying wasn't going to do any of us any good" Kono leaned in and gave her a hug

"Your right, And now I see things with a whole new perspective" Cath sat with a little more confidence

"Yeh? Like how?" Kono was puzzled.

"I am calling off the wedding" Cath was sure

"Really? " Kono questioned her motives "Because of Steve?"

"Yes, I mean no. I mean, Steve being alive changes things, of course, but it made me realize that I don't love Ryan. He never made me feel like…well, you know… like Steve made me feel. I think I did love him at some point, just not the same and not enough. I don't know if I can forgive Steve for what he did, but I can't marry Ryan just because he asked." She hesitated "When Steve kissed me it was different…it was surreal…it just made me realize the difference between being in love and settling" She had made up her mind.

Kono smiled "I am so happy that you realized that. "

With a squint, Catherine asked "What do mean?"

"Sista, listen. We knew that Ryan was not the right guy for you. You were different with him. We kind of missed the old Catherine. I missed my best friend. We used to spend a lot of time together. You couldn't wait to go surfing every chance you got, and lately we struggled to fit into your schedule. When was the last time you and Chin had a sparring match or went for a run together? Hell, I bet even Danny misses going to those Syfy movie marathons with you. You were trying to be someone you weren't from the minute you met him." Kono explained

"Really? I didn't do it on purpose. Why didn't you say something?" Cath asked sheepishly

"We all wanted you to be happy. We figured if you weren't happy that you wouldn't have agreed to marry him. We thought our suspicions about him were just us being protective of Steve's territory. We all missed Steve, but we knew that you missed him the most. With everything that happened to you, we felt that you deserved a little happiness, even if we didn't agree with your choice." Kono was now sitting facing Catherine

"I can't believe I almost made this mistake. Kono, he was keeping me away from my friends. You know, he was forcing me to sell my dad's car. Who does that? He just doesn't understand me the way that Steve did" she paused "I need to go talk to him, don't I?"

"Yeh, and soon" Kono reached for her hand "word will eventually get out about Steve's return, if it hasn't already. It could get ugly"

"I'm supposed to meet him for lunch." She looked at her watch.

"That seems like a good time." Kono hesitated "You're not afraid of him are you; I can go with you if you want? I mean he doesn't physically hurt you does he?" Kono asked trying to uncover why she so easily gave into his demands.

"Oh no! Nothing like that. Why? Have I given you that impression? He is a good man, he's just a little, I don't know, he's just not…"she paused

"Steve?" Kono continued finishing her thought

"Yeh, I guess so" Catherine had always known that she would never love another man the way she loved Steve.

"Catherine? I have to ask, why do you let him treat you so bad? I mean we see the way he speaks to you. You would have never allowed anyone to treat you like that. I used to see the way you would never let Steve get away with anything, yet Ryan got a free pass. We never understood that." Kono looked at Catherine with caring eyes.

"I don't know" She began to tear up "I knew that Steve was gone and I was alone. I no longer had him and I no longer had the Navy. The two things I had that had given me purpose were gone. Ryan is a safe bet. I know he will always come home at night. I know that he loves me more than I love him. It was different with Steve. I was never sure about anything. From the first time I met him, it was an adventure. I never knew if he would call or not. He would just show up in different parts of the world and appear in my quarters. He would appear out of nowhere, he would just show up. He acts like he is invincible, this tough SEAL who is always in control and lacking emotion, but that's not what he's really like. He's loving and caring and really knows how to treat a girl. Never once did I ever doubt if he was cheating on me or taking advantage of me. I know that I always teased him about owing me for all the favors that I did for him, but the fact is, I loved that he called me, and not anyone else. It showed me that he missed me as much as I missed him. I missed him so much, Kono, I did. " She tried desperately not to cry.

Kono reached and embraced her "He's here now, he's back, and he has made it pretty clear that he wants you. You have another chance. I know that he hurt you, but I can promise you, he never meant to. I promise you that if he knew about, well, you know, he would have never left you behind"

"I know that your right. I just don't know if I can ever forgive him. I need to talk to him also, don't I?" She wasn't sure which conversation she dreaded more.

Kono nodded in agreement. "Yes, you do"

She looked at Kono and asked the one question that crossed her mind "Why are you so forgiving? He was the reason you broke it off with Adam. Aren't you just a little resentful?" Catherine needed to know

"Maybe, but now I am with Charlie and like you said, it feels different. Charlie is whom I was meant to be with. I never fully trusted Adam. His past was always lingering in the back of my mind. If this had never happened, I still don't know if it would have worked out. I never trusted him, not like I trust Charlie. " she smiled

"Charlie is great and he definitely adores you. Ok so, first I break it off with Ryan and then I have a talk with Steve. Oh boy, this is not going to be a good day, is it?" she pursed her lips as she loaded the surf boards onto Kono's car.

"It could turn out to be the best day" Kono helped her load the boards. "It's rare we get a second chance at anything."

"I'm scared, Kono" Catherine paused as she leaned against the car

"I know, but if anyone will understand, it's Steve. He was your best friend, he loves you, and he trusts you. Just talk to him. I know you will work all this out" Kono leaned against the car next to her

"What would I do without you?" Catherine looked at Kono

"Let's hope we never find out" She reached and gave her a hug. "Come on, let's go"

Catherine deeply cherished the friendship she had with Kono. Kono had proven that she would always be there for her. She was an outstanding support. It did not take long for them to discover that they had so much in common despite the difference of their upbringing.

**Side note: I wish that they would portray Catherine and Kono as friends on the show. I would like to see them spending off time together like Steve and Danny do, just hanging out together. **


	8. Chapter 8

_**A break up and a make-up…**_

Ryan Billings sat at a booth at the Yard House restaurant and impatiently looked at his watch. "She's always late, I wonder if she will show up at all" he commented under his breath as he began to eat his meal.

Catherine walked passed and glancing through the open windows, noticed him sitting alone. She entered and walked directly towards him. Sitting opposite she noted that he had begun eating his lunch.

"Couldn't wait for me" she simply stated as she picked a leaf of the fresh spinach off his plate

"I didn't think you were going to show up" he looked at her with a sense of sorrow, he knew what was about to happen

"I'm 10 minutes late" She stated as she looked at her watch "Sorry, I told you I had a surf date with Kono"

"Are you sure that was where you were?" He asked accusingly

"Yes" She tilted her head and questioned the motive behind the question

Wiping his mouth, he gestured for the waiter "What would you like to order?" he asked Catherine as the waiter approached.

"I'll just have a Coronado Red Devil" She smiled at the waiter

"Right away, may I get you anything else?" The waiter asked

"No that's all. I won't be long" she responded with a smile

"You really should refine your taste in beverages. Beer is not ladylike, but I assume that my opinion no longer matters" Ryan sounded disappointed as he bowed his head and picked at the food on his plate.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she tried to be coy, but she had a sudden feeling that he knew about Steve. She glanced at the waiter as he placed the beer in front of her.

"I know about McGarrett. There was a press release and I saw him this morning at the Palace. I had doubts that it was him, but once I saw the press release. I knew it was." He paused "He found you didn't he? Is that why you're late? He convinced you that you don't care about me. Your here to call off the wedding, to break it off, aren't you? "

"Yes, I am. I am so sorry Ryan." She paused to notice his expression "I do care about you, I did love you, but I'm afraid I am not in love with you. I haven't been in a while." She paused to take a breath and to give him a chance to absorb what she was saying. "Now that he's back, I want to make it work with him. I'm sorry. I know that's harsh. But I can't marry you when I love someone else" She felt bad for him but needed to be direct.

He smirked sarcastically to hide his disappointment "I am sorry too, because I love you. I will love you more than he ever will. You are making a big mistake. I could give you things that he will never be able to. I just can't believe that after everything he did to you, you still want to be with him. He abandoned you. He just left you and his family and you still love him. What makes you think that he won't do that again?" he nodded in disbelief as his emotions turned to anger "You are just as pathetic now as you were when I met you. You were an emotional wreck and I fixed you." He paused as he began to gather his belongings "I hope the two of you will be happy together. When he runs off on you again, do not come running back to me"

"You fixed me? Come running back to you?" She stood leaning down to speak to him closely. "This" she pointed at him and herself "is not how it's supposed to be. I am not some project or charity case. You didn't fix me. You can't fix me. No one can" She grabbed her handbag and started to walk away, when he grabbed her arm and stood beside her.

Taking a brief moment to calm his emotions, he leaned closer and whispered in her ear "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I love you. I wanted to be the love of your life. I wanted you to love me like I love you, like you loved him. Do you have any idea how hard it is to compete with a ghost? I knew the minute I saw him, that it was over, that I lost you." Swallowing the knot that was choking him, he continues "I truly do wish you happiness" he pecked a kiss on her cheek.

She was startled by his comment and with a glance of his sorrowful eyes, returned the kiss "Thank you, I am so sorry, Ryan. I know that you will find the right person who will appreciate you for who you are. If it means anything, please know that I did love you and I do wish you success and happiness" Pulling him in for an embrace she whispered "Goodbye" and walked away leaving him standing there alone.

_**Hours later**_

Steve spent hours driving around the island looking for Catherine. In his haste to leave the Palace, he failed to get her cell phone number and her car was not equipped with GPS. He needed to talk to her, he needed to set the record straight and decide their fate once and for all. Whether she would take him back or not, he needed to have some kind of closure.

She wasn't at her house or at Kono's. He searched all her usual spots and nothing. He was about to give up, when he suddenly thought of one last place where she might be. "Why didn't I think of this sooner" He thought to himself. Accelerating, he made his way towards Hanuman bay. That was where she went when she needed to think, that was her spot, where she went too cool off after a disagreement, or after returning from a difficult mission. It was where she went when she needed to escape. He suddenly had no doubt that she would be there.

He pulled up to the parking area and spotting the blue corvette, parking next to it, he smiled as he noticed the For Sale sign in the window was gone. Walking past the main entrance that was riddled with tourists, he made his way towards a hidden pathway. She had showed him this secret spot many years ago when her father had died. She had explained to him that her father used to bring her there when he was home on leave. There was where she gained her appreciation of the water. The calm of the surf and the majesty of the reef gave her a sense of renewal and peace.

Making his way towards the secluded spot he found her. Hoping not to startle her, he slowly approached the lone figure sitting on the ledge with her legs dangling off the wall and her hair gently blowing in the breeze. Her silhouette was highlighted by the setting sun and all he could think of was how beautiful and peaceful she appeared. He almost felt bad to disrupt her, almost.

She turned towards him before he could say a word. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

"Looking for you" He answered in a serious tone

"Oh? Ok." She returned her attention to the view "Have a seat then" She patted the spot next to her

"You're not going to throw anything at me, are you?" He asked with a touch of fear

"Sit" she glared at him

"Beautiful" He said as he looked towards the reef below.

"Yes, it is, isn't it?" She replied

"I was talking about you" Steve turned his head and faced her.

She simply smiled. He always knew how to use a compliment to his advantage. "What are you really doing here?"

"Danny and Chin said you needed to tell me something and Kono said you were ready to talk" he looked directly at her. She looked away

"Wow, it didn't take long for them to throw me under the bus, did it?" she continued to look away

He reached over and gently touching her chin, he turned her head to face him "They love you"

"And you?" she could feel the knot in her throat tighten

"What's so important that you need to tell me, that no one else is willing to tell me?" He released his hold on her.

She rolled her eyes at his dismissal of her question. "It's a long sad story, are you sure you want to hear it?" she suddenly became serious

"Yes, start at the beginning" He turned his body to face hers, folding one leg beneath the other.

She turned her body to face him. Reaching her hand out and taking hold of his, she held his hand tight and with a sigh began "I can't promise a happy ending"

_**Did Catherine and Ryan handle the break up well?**_ _**Was she too harsh? Was he too bitter? Did anyone feel sorry for him, just a little? (I did).**_

_**Are you all sure you're ready for the next chapters? You will finally find out what happened, but remember this is a tragedy, so you have been warned.**_


	9. Chapter 9

**Ok Here it goes, you are all about to finally find out what happened to Catherine. Let's see who guessed correctly. Oh and as a warning, this is a tragedy. **

_**Flashback: March 2013:**_

The smell of garlic filled the room and the table was set to perfection. Catherine adjusted the flowers in the vase and for the fourth time switched the position of the napkins. Finishing the final touch on the gift box, she placed it on one of the place settings and smiled. "Everything looks perfect" she noted as she left the kitchen to go get dressed.

Opening the closet and staring at the limited wardrobe, she pushed aside the uniforms and took hold of the little red dress that hung in the back. "His favorite". She looked at herself in the mirror and adjusting her hair to look just right, she paused and turned to see her profile in the mirror. Placing her hand on her abdomen, she noted the slight swell, and smiled.

Two hours had passed and he was officially late. Picking up her cell phone she dialed his number. "McGarrett leave a message". This was her third call and the result was the same. Her concern began to pull at her thoughts and so she, once again, picked up her phone and this time called Danny. "This is Detective Daniel Williams; I can't take your call right now, so please leave a message".

"Danny, It Catherine I'm looking for Steve, we were supposed to have dinner hours ago and he hasn't shown up. Please call me, I'm officially worried" Catherine tried not to sound panicked but she was.

Too much time had passed and her worry had now turned to fear. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Rolling her eyes with a sense of relief, she ran to the door, placing her hand on the knob, she sarcastically commented "It's about time, did you lose your watch, sailor?" as she hastily opened it.

Her smile immediately turned to concern as she registered the ashen expressions of Danny and Chin standing before her. She knew the two men to be serious characters, but she could tell that something was wrong; terribly wrong.

"Oh my, Its Steve isn't it? Did something happen to him? Danny! Please! Please Danny, tell me it's nothing. Tell me he's ok. Danny! Damn it tell me something, say something!" She shouted as Chin approached and held her tightly in his arms.

Danny was still and could not move. He wanted to hold her and comfort her. He wanted to tell her that she was wrong and that Steve was fine, but he couldn't. Swallowing the knot that tightened his throat he choked as he responded to her pleas. "Catherine, I am so sorry. He's dead, Steve is dead" Danny dropped to his knees and held his head with his hands as he released the sob he held for her benefit.

She collapsed in Chin's arms sobbing as the words "Dead, dead, dead." Rang through her like thunder

_**Present day**_

Steve was momentarily speechless as she told her story. He stood and paced the narrow clearing. With a blank expression, she watched his reaction. Finally he returned to where she was sitting and reaching over to touch her belly, he stated the obvious "You were pregnant? We have a child?"

Tears suddenly dropped from Catherine's eyes as she slowly removed his hand from her belly. "We had a child" was all she said.

"Had?" He repeated.

"I lost it" she began to cry and stood up, turning her body away from him.

He approached her and reached out to hold her. Standing behind her, he wrapped his arms around her and held her. They stood like that for a while.

She continued as he held her from behind "I was so happy and so scared. I didn't know how you would react, we never talked about having a family, but I knew you enough to know that you would be there; that we would do it together. I never ever thought you would never come home that night. I had everything prepared. I made your favorite dinner and I had even wrapped the results of the test for you. I needed everything to be perfect that night."

"Did it happen that night?" he asked trying desperately to hold back the tears that were welling in his eyes.

She nodded. "No it was months later" she started to walk away.

"Months? Oh God, how far along were you?" he felt the pit of his stomach turn

She didn't answer but just turned to stare into his eyes. She could see his despair, his sadness. She couldn't take it anymore and began to run away.

"Cath, please don't leave. Tell me more. I need to know what happened" He begged her to stay, but she continued to run.

He chased after her, up the winding pathway and back to the now empty parking lot. She stood against her car, her arms pressed against the roof and her head bowed. He grabbed hold of her arm and tugging at it, she turned to face him. "I need to know. I need to know what happened. I can't fix this if I don't know what happened" He realized that his tone was slightly harsher than he intended and with a short sigh, he whispered. "Please, Cath. I need to hear this, I need to hear everything".

"Why did you do it?" Catherine asked desperately "why did you put us all through this?"

"I had no choice" he simply sated

"You did have a choice. You could have found another way." She insisted

"There was no other way. They killed Doris. You or Mary was going to be next. Don't you get that? They were not going to stop until the killed everyone that I cared about. It was never going to stop. They might have after Grace and Danny. I couldn't take any more chances with other people's lives. If I were dead, the killing would stop. There would be no one to punish." He pleaded for her understanding

"You could have told someone" she responded

"No, I couldn't, I needed the grief to be real." He replied

"Well, it was, it was too real" her breathing accelerated as she tried to contain her frustration

"I had to treat this like a black op, it was the only way to get the upper hand and it worked. It took longer than expected, but I got them, I got them all." He insisted

Hesitating to take in his response "Were you there?" she asked

"Where?" he asked

"At your funeral" she snapped "Did you watch us grieve? Did you watch us?"

"No. I thought about it, but I couldn't risk it. I couldn't take the chance that they suspected a sting operation. "He bowed his head "I couldn't bear the thought of watching you cry for me" he paused "Cath, I am so sorry, but your life was more important than my own. If I was killed during the operation, it wouldn't matter, I was already dead. If I couldn't stop them from hurting my loved ones, I might as well be dead"

She could see the remorse in his eyes. She knew he was convinced that his actions were the only choice he had. Pausing for a moment and with a lick of her lips, she nodded in acceptance and unlocking the door of her car, she directed him "Get in".

**Most of you guessed it, but believe me there is more. (I guess I am getting too predictable) **

**So what caused her to lose the baby? **

**Reviews, comments, guesses? Keep them coming!**


	10. Chapter 10

_**Again, remember this is a tragedy. This time we find out a little about what happened to Mary. Please keep the comments coming. Tell me what you want to see. I have two endings written and your thoughts may direct me as to which one I will use. Kind of like on the show with "choose your ending".**_

Accelerating at every curve, the roar of the engine grew louder, as the little blue stingray hugged the pavement of the Kamehameha Highway.

"Are you trying to kill me?" Steve asked as he held on to the armrest tightly

"No, if I was trying to kill you, I would have thrown you off the ledge earlier" She turned and looked at him with a smirk

"The road, watch the road!" he stressed with the look of panic on his face as the dirt from the edge of the cliff shifted beneath the car. "Can you please slow down? I just came back to life; I would like to actually live it"

She couldn't help but smirk at his remark. "Fine!" she turned off the road and onto a lookout shoulder. Turning off the engine, she turned her body to face him.

"Now that you broke all the speed records, are you ready to tell me more?" He turned his body to face hers.

_**Flashback: June 2013**_

"Damn, four months to go and I am already having trouble getting out of this car" Catherine struggled to raise herself from the seat of the corvette.

Knocking on the door of the McGarrett house, she closed her eyes and for a short second, she wished it was Steve who would answer. She knew he was dead. She knew she had seen his casket lowered to the ground. She knew she had seen the coroner's report, but she hoped. The sound of an airplane flying overhead startled her and brought her back to reality.

"Mary! Mary! It's me Catherine! Open up!" She rolled her eyes in annoyance. Walking around back she checked to see if perhaps Mary was there. Searching the lanai and the beach, there was no sign of her. "That's odd, her car's here" thought Catherine.

Returning to the driveway, Catherine opened the passenger door of her car and reached into the glove compartment. Rummaging through it, she retrieved the spare key and let herself in.

"Mary! Mary! Are you here?" she shouted.

Catherine searched each room and made her way up the stairs. She listened carefully trying to decipher where she could be. The guest room was definitely slept in last night, and Mary's wallet and keys were on the dresser. "Hmm? Where is she?"

Catherine made her way to the other rooms, pausing as she touched the knob on the door to Steve's bedroom. She bit her lip and took in a deep breath as she opened the door. The bed was made and the room was meticulous, Just like Steve had left it. Staring at the bed, memories of the man she loved flooded her mind. She quickly closed the door, placed her hand on her belly and pausing for a few seconds to compose herself, she continued her search.

"Mary! Mary! This isn't funny. Where the hell are you?" Catherine was feeling desperate. Approaching the bathroom, the sound of running water caught her attention.

"Damn it Mary, you knew we had an appointment with my OB, why aren't you ready yet? Mary?" Catherine tested the knob and the door opened. To her shock, Mary was lying in the tub, the water overflowing, with a tint of red.

"Mary! What did you do?" She grabbed her arms and tugged at her body, pulling her out of the tub and laying her on the floor. Ignoring the sharp pain in her abdomen, she checked for a pulse. Immediately, she grabbed the towels that were neatly folded and wrapped both Mary's wrists with them. "Mary! Can you hear me? Mary! Please Mary!

"911 what is your emergency?" the operator asked

"I need an ambulance now. I have a 33 year old female with lacerations to both wrists. Her pulse is very weak" Catherine explained as she held pressure on the wounds.

"We have the address, an ambulance is on the way" responded the operator.

"Mary, please hold on. Please Mary. I need you. Please" Catherine pleaded but got no response. She sat on the floor of the bathroom, holding the towels tightly around Mary's wrists and rocking her lovingly in her arms.

_**Present day**_

'Stop!" I can't listen to any more. I just can't" Steve opened the car door and walked to the edge of the scenic outlook.

Catherine passed her fingers through her hair and after rubbing her eyes with the palm of her hands; she exited the car and approached him.

Wrapping her arms around him, he buried his head in the nape of her neck and cried. She held him and did not say a word. They stood like that for a while, as he struggled to compose himself, he gently pulled away. "I'm sorry. Continue"

"Are you sure? She asked "it doesn't get better"

"Yes, I am sure. I need to hear this" He wiped the tears that lingered on his face and sat along the ledge that separated the road from the edge of the cliff.

_**Flashback: June 2013**_

Catherine sat in the waiting room of the emergency room. She was covered in blood and exhausted from the trauma of the events.

Danny, Chin and Kono came running into the room in a panic. "What happened?" Danny shouted

"Mary tried to kill herself" Catherine responded talking directly to Kono.

"That's her blood?" Kono asked

"Yes, she slit her wrists in the bathtub" Catherine answered in a whisper

The three of them exchanged looks of disbelief and despair.

Realizing that Catherine had been sitting there for hours covered in Mary's blood, Kono immediately walked over to the nurses' station and asked politely "can someone please get her a change of clothes?"

"I am sorry that is not hospital policy" a nurse responded

"Well, I am Officer Kono Kalakaua from Five-0 and I am making it policy. Now!" Kono barked at the nurse hoping that she had no knowledge of the task force's dismantling.

"Yes, Ma'am, right away" the nurse scurried away to retrieve a change of clothes for Catherine.

Chin searched the lobby for something to comfort her and returned with a cup of tea, as Danny sat next to her, holding her hand.

"Are you ok?" Danny asked

"No, I'm not. Why Danny? Why is this happening to me, to us?" Danny held her hand tighter "I don't understand what I did to deserve this." She leaned her head on Danny's chest "She has to live, she has to"

"She's strong and so are you. We will get through this together" he leaned his head enough to make eye contact.

Hours passed and Catherine had fallen asleep on Danny's shoulder. Kono and Chin paced the room, asking for information every few minutes. They were sure that they would eventually be tossed out of the waiting area. The fact that they were Five-0 was no longer working to their advantage.

"Family of Mary McGarrett" A man dressed in scrubs entered the room.

"That's us" they all jumped to their feet and answered in unison.

"She's going to be just fine. She lost a lot of blood, but thanks to your quick thinking, she will be just fine" The doctor was convinced she would make a full recovery. "We will need to keep her for a few days for observation and psychiatric evaluation. We will have to wait and see what happens after that"

"Thank you Doctor, when can I see her?" Catherine asked

The doctor placed his hand on her shoulder "I am sorry, not tonight, perhaps in the morning. Why don't you go home and get some rest. We will call you if there is any change. "The doctor was very sincere

"That's a good idea. Catherine, why don't you stay with me tonight? I will bring you here in the morning. You need to get some rest" Danny offered

"I'm fine. I should go home. Thanks guys" Catherine insisted as she placed her hand on her belly.

"Are you sure?" Chin asked with concern

"Yes, I am sure" just as Catherine was walking towards the doors to exit the hospital, a sharp pain penetrated her body. She tumbled over and collapsed on the floor.

"Catherine!" shouted Kono as the three of them ran to her assistance.

"We need help here, hurry!" shouted Danny

Nurses and Doctors ran from every direction and quickly placed her on a gurney. "She's bleeding, how far along is she?" shouted the doctor

"Five months, I think" Kono responded with uncertainty

"O.R Stat! Get her to the O.R STAT!" the doctor shouted as he exchanged a grim look with the nurse

"You have to help her! You have to save that Baby!" Danny shouted as the gurney was rushed away.

_**Don't forget to choose your ending! Happy, sad, together, apart. Tell me what you want to see happen. But remember this is about Steve and Cath.**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Thank you for the comments and for placing your vote. It seems like most of you want to see them together. There is still time to vote if you haven't. Keep leaving reviews and comments please. Let me know what you think. Reviews make me happy.**_

Sitting in silence, Catherine stared at Steve, trying to get a fix on his reaction.

He hesitated. Trying to grab hold of his emotions, he turned to her "I am really sorry that you had to go through all that alone" Steve stared directly into Catherine's eyes.

"I wasn't alone. Kono, Chin and Danny were with me every step of the way" She took a deep breath. "I would have never survived without them"

"I should have been here. " He reached for her hand

"But you weren't" she retracted her hand

"It was never my intention for all this to happen" Steve desperately needed her to understand

"I know, but that doesn't change the fact that it did happen." Catherine never broke eye contact.

"You have to know that if I knew you were pregnant, I would have never left you. I would have come back if I knew." He emphasized.

"I know" she replied with a tear in her eye "besides it wasn't all your fault"

"What do you mean? If I were here, none of this would have happened" Steve insisted

"Maybe, but if I would have told you what Doris was up to, instead of hiding it from you, you may have been able to stop all this. " She felt the guilt deep down inside

"Cath, you did nothing wrong." He couldn't believe that she was trying to take responsibility away from him

She continued "I lied to you until it was too late. I didn't take care of myself, I should have protected that baby, I should have kept a better eye on Mary. I was careless, I was stupid"

"Stop it!" he shouted at her. Pausing to compose himself he continued "This was not your fault. It happened, it just happened. Please Cath, don't blame yourself, blame me, but don't blame yourself"

"I blame both of us" she made direct eye contact "but, we need to get past it, together"

"Together? Does this mean that you are not going to marry that pretty boy lawyer?" He asked as he reached and wiped away the tears from her face.

"No. I am not. I called off the wedding" She answered

"You did? Steve's was not surprised

"Yes" she responded as she pursed her lips "You made me realize some things, but he wasn't the right guy for me. I guess I was just settling" She explained

"I've never known you to settle for anything or anyone" he moved closer

"I wasn't being me. A part of me died with you and the rest died with that baby. I wanted that baby so bad. It was the only thing I had left. It was my final connection to you" she was now crying

Steve reached out to hold her, but she backed away

"Ryan was the first person that looked at me with desire. Everyone else on this Island looked at me with pity. I looked at myself with pity. Everyone kept asking me how I was feeling, if I was ok. I couldn't take it anymore. Of course I wasn't ok. How could I have been ok? I couldn't come home to an empty house anymore. Your team tried so hard to fill the void you left, but it wasn't the same. I needed to feel wanted. Ryan filled that void and I settled. Like I said, he just wasn't the right guy" She looked up at him

"Does that mean that I'm the right guy?" Steve asked

"Maybe" she responded "I don't know. You were, at least I thought you were. You left and now your back. I had your child growing inside me and then I didn't. I was getting married and now I'm not. I don't know anything right now" she was confused

"You can marry me?" He asked sheepishly

"Did you just propose?" she was taken off guard

"Yes" He waited for a response

Biting her lip she answered "No, I can't" She looked directly at him. "I need time to find myself again and well, you need time to re-adjust. Things have changed and jumping into a marriage isn't going to help."

He stood "But you love me, right? You forgive me for what I did to you, don't you?"

"I do. I do love you. I think I forgive you, but it's difficult to forget. Can't we just wait and see what happens? Can't we just get to know each again?" she pleaded for his understanding

At that moment a tour bus arrived and suddenly the serenity of the surroundings grew loud and crowded.

"Ok fine. But I am not letting you run off and marry anyone else. I've waited too long to be with you. I sacrificed too much and it's not going to be in vein. I'm standing by your side. I am determined to make all this up to you and to Mary. I am going to make it up to everyone"

She simply nodded in agreement. "That would be nice, I would like that"

They sat together holding hands for a while. The sun had settled lower into the horizon and the water below glimmered in a rainbow of colors. Gently caressing each other's hands, they both knew that this was the beginning of a fresh start. She was willing to give him a chance to redeem himself. He was willing to do everything in his power to reconcile their relationship. He wanted nothing more than to prove his love to her.

Looking at the tourists with cameras in hand, he commented "It's suddenly very crowded here and I don't know about you, but I am starving. How about we go to my place and I'll make you a nice dinner? Just like old times"

"I don't know. Every time we go to your place for dinner, we never actually eat. Though I will admit, I do miss your….dinners" She smirked, knowing exactly what his plan was. She hated to admit it but she wanted him.

He raised his eyebrows "It's been a long time Cath."

"Yes it has" she agreed

"No, I mean… it's…been…a…long…time" he emphasized every word.

"How long? You mean to tell me that you haven't, well, you know, in three years? I am not sure I believe that" She was surprised

"I didn't think it was going to take that long and I didn't want to be disloyal to you. I didn't want to be with anyone else, but you. I may have done a lot of things for you to doubt me, but I have never cheated on you." he avoided making eye contact. Truth was he was slightly embarrassed.

She paused, not sure how to react to this revelation. Approaching him, she reached up, taking hold of the collar of his shirt, she adjusted it.

"Well in that case, we'll need appetizers" she kissed him "dinner" she kissed him again "and dessert" she kissed him again, this time pressing her lips against him harder and longer than the others.

Placing his arm around her, as they walked to the car, he held her tightly. She leaned her head into his shoulder as she fiddled with the keys in her hand. He reached his hand out to grab the keys from her, when she retracted them from his grasp.

"You are not driving my car. That rule has not changed" She snapped

"It was worth a try. Are you ever going to let me drive this car?" he asked

She thought for a second and with a smirk she replied "That depends how good dinner is tonight" she raised her eyebrows

He laughed out loud "I guess I'll be driving it all day tomorrow and the next and the next"

"Shut up and get in before I change my mind" She revved the engine and once his door closed, raced onto the highway.

The little Blue Corvette winded through the highway as darkness fell along the landscape.

"This is going to be fun!" Exclaimed Steve as they drove off "But please slow down a little. Please!"

_**It isn't over yet. Next chapter is the finale. Did you choose which ending you want? Will they "have dinner" or will she change her mind? This is your last chance.**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Some great arguments for both endings, but the winner is…. McRoll Time!**_

The little blue corvette pulled up to the front of the McGarrett home kicking up the dust as she stopped abruptly at the gate.

"I think I just lost 10 years from my life" Steve commented as he released his grip from the arm rest

"Oh, come on it wasn't that bad, was it?" Catherine asked with a tone of light sarcasm

"You always do that when you're nervous" he stated as he looked at her

"Do what? Drive fast?" She didn't know what he was talking about

"Bite your lip" He reached his hand and gently caressed her lips with his fingers

She smiled and gently pulled back causing him to retract his hand. He smiled.

He got out of the car and walked over to the driver's side, opening the door for her. She hesitated, and after a slight pause, took Steve's hand and exited the car.

He gently placed his hand on the small of her back as he guided her along the pathway to the entrance, "So, are you coming in?" he asked as he opened the front door and held it for her to pass

"Yeh, sure" she stated as she paused in the doorway. "I haven't been here since Mary…" she stopped

Thinking about the warning that Danny had issued earlier, he moved closer to her and whispered "We could go somewhere else, if you like"

"No, I'm fine. It's ok" she walked in and stood in the living room, not quite sure what to do next.

There was definitely awkwardness between them as Steve also wasn't sure what to do next.

Looking around for some sort of inspiration, "Food", he thought out loud as he made his way into the kitchen "what do you want to eat? Kono bought a bunch of stuff last night" he walked over to the refrigerator and opened it.

"I don't think I'm hungry anymore" Catherine stated as she fiddled with a strand of her own hair

He turned to look at her "Are you sure? Cath, we don't have to do this. We can just do nothing if you want. We could watch a movie. I think I saw The Notebook laying around here somewhere" He could see that she was nervous and scared.

"Funny" pursing her lips, she slowly walked over to him and reaching out for his hand, took hold of it. She wanted to be with him and she was not going to allow her insecurities to prevent that from happening. It was time she took matters into her own hands.

Without saying a word, she walked him through the living room and proceeded to lead him up the stairs and into his bedroom. Stopping at the foot of the bed, she turned to face him. Taking a deep breath, she reached for the straps on her dress, and passed her arms through. She stood still as the dress fell to the floor. She then reached for the snap on her bra and released it allowing it to drop as she stepped out of the matching lace panties she was wearing. She stood before him naked and vulnerable.

"He's not moving" she thought to herself "he's just staring, maybe Ryan was right, maybe I have aged, maybe I am not as desirable to him as he remembered" Her insecurities were racing through her mind.

"She's so beautiful" Steve thought as he paused to take in the beauty of her naked body before him "I wouldn't have thought it was possible, but she's more beautiful than I remember"

Putting her insecurities behind her and feeling her heart race, she moved closer and reaching for his shirt, she slowly unbuttoned each button. His shirt dropped to the floor and her hands trembled as they outlined the muscles of his chest. She continued to feel his skin against her fingers as her hands continued moving downward. Taking hold of the waistband of his pants, she tugged at the buckle as she unfastened it. They dropped to the floor. He stood before her as he watched her every move and without saying a single word he allowed her to continue to explore his body.

Their eyes were locked as they both stood completely naked and completely entranced by the raw emotions that were flooding both their hearts and minds.

He began to caress her shoulders as he leaned in to kiss her. The kiss was slow, the kiss was deliberate, and the kiss was ever so tender. Retreating to take a look at her face, he could see the tears falling from her chestnut brown eyes. He loved this woman so much and seeing her cry was not what he had hoped for.

"Are you ok?" he whispered as he gently wiped the tears from her face.

"I can't believe that this is happening. I dreamed about this over and over again. I never thought that" she looked in his eyes as she moved even closer to him

"shhh" he placed his finger on her lips "I'm here and its real, I love you" he said as he once again leaned in and kissed her. "I always loved you. I always will love you"

Reaching down he swiftly lifted her in his arms, holding her close to his chest, he carried her to the bed, gently placing her in the center of it. He slowly lowered himself onto the bed, never losing eye contact; He kissed her gently waiting for her response.

Returning his kiss, she could feel her entire body react. Reaching up and grabbing hold of his forearms, she pulled herself closer, closing the narrow gap between them. The glare of his blue eyes glimmered. "I want you" she whispered.

He smirked as his body gently rubbed against hers and with a slow but deliberate motion they became one.

All the surroundings seemed to vanish. The sounds of the trees and the ocean that once resonated in the background were gone. It was just the two of them.

She inhaled his scent. It was the one thing she could never forget about him. The feel of his strong body against hers, was one that she never thought she would encounter again.

He never lost sight of her as he gently rocked against her body. His hands held her's firmly above her head, giving him full control. She allowed it with no resistance. His eyes watched as her expression suddenly changed from fear, to ecstasy, to complete satisfaction. He knew that he had won her over. Any doubt was now gone.

"I am so sorry I hurt you, I will never leave you. I will never do anything to hurt you ever again. You have my word" he whispered as he rested his body on hers. Out of breath and completely intertwined, their naked bodies as one, he held her tightly.

"I know" she reached her hand behind his head, grabbing hold of the curls at the back of his neck. "I know". She pressed her face against his cheek and bringing her lips to his ear, she whispered "I missed you so much"

He smiled at her and gently rolled over on his back, opening his arm; he embraced her and held her close to his chest. He closed his eyes and with an expression of pure satisfaction, drew her even closer.

She laid her head on his chest and registered every beat of his heart. They laid there for a while. The awkwardness that was present earlier was gone and the familiarity they once had returned.

He lifted his head and turned to face her. He placed his elbow on the pillow and held his head with his hand. "Is it too soon to ask for a favor?"

She mimicked his position "That depends what the favor is" she responded with curiosity

He raised his head higher and with a serious expression asked "Will you help me bring Mary home? Will you help me take care of her?"

Catherine paused. A smile erupting from her face and with a tear in her eye she responded "Of course. I would be honored to. I love Mary very much, she was the sister I never had. I was hoping you would want to bring her home"

He smiled back at her and with both arms, grabbed her in a full embrace "I didn't think it was possible, but I think I love you even more now".

She smiled as she nestled into his arms "You know, I think I'm hungry afterall".

He loosened his grip to face her "Oh really?" he replied "that was just the appetizer, you promised dinner and dessert" he smirked.

She returned the smile "Your right, I did; didn't I?" she exclaimed as she jumped on top of him with a giggle "I always keep my promises"

_**The end**_

_**Oh come on….you know I always have a happy ending. Besides the majority chose this. **_

_**Reviews! Tell me what you think please.**_

_**I am thinking about posting the alternate ending, also. Is anyone interested in reading that? **_

_**Thank you so much for reading this. I appreciate each and every one of you!**_


	13. Alternate Ending

**Here is the alternate ending. **

The little blue corvette pulled up to the front of the McGarrett home kicking up the dust as she stopped abruptly at the gate.

"I think I just lost 10 years from my life" Steve commented as he released his grip from the arm rest

"Oh, come on it wasn't that bad, was it?" Catherine asked with a tone of light sarcasm

"You always do that when you're nervous" he stated as he looked at her

"Do what? Drive fast?" She didn't know what he was talking about

"Bite your lip" He reached his hand and gently caressed her lips with his fingers

She smiled and gently pulled back causing him to retract his hand. He smiled.

He got out of the car and walked over to the driver's side, opening the door for her. She hesitated, and after a slight pause, took Steve's hand and exited the car.

He gently placed his hand on the small of her back as he guided her along the pathway to the entrance, "So, are you coming in?" he asked as he opened the front door and held it for her to pass

"Yeh, sure" she stated as she paused in the doorway.

She walked in and stood in the living room, not quite sure what to do next.

Steve looked around for some sort of inspiration, "Food", he thought out loud as he excitedly made his way into the kitchen "what do you want to eat? Kono bought a bunch of stuff last night" he walked over to the refrigerator and opened it.

He searched through the contents when Catherine produced the box of pasta from the cabinet. "I can make some pasta?" she suggested

"That would be great. I'll make the sauce" he bent down and rummaged through the cabinet in search of a pot.

She watched him as he moved through the kitchen. He was smiling, he was too comfortable, he was oblivious to her awkwardness. "This is too easy for him" she thought to herself. She began to feel as if she was making a mistake, as if she were letting him off too easy.

As her insecurities continued to flood her mind, she exclaimed "You know, I don't think I'm hungry anymore" Catherine stated as she put the box of pasta on the table.

He turned to look at her "Are you sure?" He paused "Ok, we don't have to eat, we could watch a movie. I think I saw The Notebook lying around here somewhere, or do you prefer Chuckie?" He could see that she was nervous and scared.

"Funny" pursing her lips, she slowly walked over to him and reaching out for his hand, took hold of it. She wanted to be with him, but she knew that it would be a mistake that she could never take back. "I think I should go"

He hesitated for a second as she waited for a response "Please don't leave".

"I really should go before…." Before she could complete her sentence, he grabbed hold of her arms and gently shoved her against the wall.

"Steve, don't, please, I can't" she tried to resist, but as he leaned in and kissed her passionately, she felt herself melt in his touch. His tongue danced around hers and at that moment she knew that the animal magnetism they always shared was taking over.

Reaching for the straps on her dress he tugged until they tore, causing the dress to fall to the ground.

Simultaneously, she grabbed for his shirt and raised it over his head. She tossed in to the ground as he grabbed hold of her and lifted her onto the kitchen counter.

She wanted to protest, she wanted to resist, but she felt herself give in. She wanted him and he knew it.

Reaching for her panties he tugged, pulled them down, and discarded them. He reached his hands between her thighs and forcefully parted them enough to stand between as he embraced her in his arms. He grabbed her waist and brought her now naked body closer to his now aroused self. She allowed him to explore her body as he pressed against hers.

Feeling her heart race, she moved her hands across his chest and slowly scratched her way to his back. Her hands trembled as they outlined his muscles. She continued to feel his skin against her fingers as her hands continued moving downward. Taking hold of the waistband of his pants, she tugged at the buckle as she unfastened it. They dropped to the floor. He stood naked as she firmly grabbed his ass and using it as leverage, forced herself slightly closer.

Their eyes were locked as she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist. Her arms continued to embrace him as they became completely entranced by the raw emotions that were flooding both their hearts and minds.

He held her tighter and with a forceful tug, brought her even closer, close enough to feel her wetness, as he leaned in to kiss her. The kiss was hard, fast and raw. The passion was boiling inside him as he ravaged her with his touch and hungrily devowered her with his tongue. Retreating to take a look at her face, he could see the tears welling in her brown eyes.

"Are you ok?" he panted "am I hurting you?"

"Don't stop" she blurted without a thought "I need you to…"

"shhh" he pressed his lips on her mouth.

Stopping just enough to take a breath, he whispered "I always loved you. I always will love you"

Tightening her grip "I want you, I need you" she responded breathlessly.

He smirked as his body forcefully rubbed against hers and with a fast but deliberate motion they became one.

He never lost sight of her as he pushed his body against hers. His arms held her firmly on the counter, as they both rocked in hurried rhythm. She allowed it with no resistance. His eyes closed, as he listened to her release a loud moan with every motion. And with a sudden shrill, he knew that he had won her over. Any doubt he had was now gone.

"I am so sorry, I will never leave you. I will never do anything to hurt you ever again. You have my word" he whispered as he allowed her body to rest against his chest. Out of breath, covered in sweat, their naked bodies intertwined, he held her tightly.

She reached her arms around his shoulders and grabbed hold of the back of his neck. She pressed her face against his cheek and bringing her lips to his ear, she whispered "I missed you so much, and this was amazing" she hesitated " but I can't, I'm sorry, I just don't believe you" She threw her head back, forcefully pushed him away and jumped off the counter.

"What? Cath, where are you going?" He was completely taken by surprise

"I'm sorry, I can't do this. I am so sorry, please just let me go, please" She scurried to retrieve her clothes from the floor as she ran out of the kitchen.

Steve immediately chased after her as he too scurried to retrieve his clothes. "Cath! Stop!" he shouted as he tripped his way across the room

She hurriedly dressed as she grabbed her keys from the table. Racing towards the door, he grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"Why are you leaving? You can't just leave. I thought we made a connection. I thought we were good. You can't tell me you didn't feel what just happened in there. You said you loved me. Why are you doing this?" He pleaded desperately

"I love you. I do. I really really do, but I can't be that woman anymore. I want to forgive you, I want to believe you, I am trying so hard, but I can't. I can't give myself to you completely. I thought I could. I wanted to. I wanted to love you with every ounce in my heart. There is no denying that, but I can't get out of my mind the fact that you just left. You abandoned us. You just left and I don't know if you will do it again. I am sorry, but I can't live like this. I don't trust you, and I know that I never will. Every time you walk out this door, I will be wondering if you will ever come back." Placing her hand on his cheek, she continued "I am so happy that you are alive. I never wish anything bad for you, but we are just not meant to be. Please, don't come after me, don't call me, just let me go. Let me have a normal life. I need to have a normal life. If you love me as much as you say, you will just let me go. Please." She kissed him one last time, opened the door and left.

Steve stood completely still, completely in shock. He didn't react, he didn't chase after her; he just let her go.

_**The End. What did you think of this alternate ending? Review! review! review!**_

_**I hope I was successful in making the sex rougher and more animalistic. I wanted a different tone than the original ending. Did I succeed? **_

_**Again: Thank you so much for indulging me in this little fantasy called fanfiction.**_


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